Facing a Divorce

During your first meeting with a divorce attorney, get the money matters taken care of before anything else. Ask the lawyer for an estimate of legal costs based on the information you provide. Costs too high? Say "bye-bye" and move on to another lawyer.

If there aren't a lot of assets and both wife and husband want out of the relationship, there's no need to spend a bundle on legal advice. Document preparation services (check the local Yellow pages) will prepare the paperwork for a divorce filing, often for as little as $125.

Even after a divorce, a couple can still file jointly for the year in which the divorce occurred, which can provide some tax savings, especially if dependents (the kids) are involved. Talk to your accountant to see whether you're better off filing as a single or a couple. The savings could be significant - and you can split them evenly to make things even better.

If the divorce is amicable and fair, both spouses can use the same attorney to handle court filings and other paperwork. Using the same attorney only works if both husband and wife agree to all terms, however, another reason to work things out on your own before dropping by to see a lawyer.

If your ex is supposed to pay child support and doesn't, you aren't helpless. Contact your state department of family services (also called children services) and file a complaint. The non-paying spouse can be tracked down and forced to pay through wage garnishments, withholding state and federal tax refunds and even through the sale of assets - like the luxury yacht you never knew about.

Ask friends and associates for referrals when looking for a divorce lawyer. Never simply pick a name out of the telephone book - you don't know who you'll get. Find a lawyer who is willing to work with you and follow your wishes.

Filing an uncontested divorce, one in which husband and wife have worked out the details on their own, is a fairly straightforward exercise. Filing prose, which means 'for self' (as in, no lawyers) involves filing fees and court costs, but no fees to attorneys.

If the marriage home is a point of contention, make sure your lawyer obtains rights of exclusive possession rather than exclusive occupancy. Exclusive possession allows you to keep the house even if you rent it out as a source of income. If you only have the right to exclusive occupancy, you have to actually live in the house in order to keep it.

Divorce mediation services are designed to help couples divide commonly-held assets like the house, investments and family treasures. These services are much less expensive than two lawyers negotiating who gets the hand-carved cuckoo clock.

Most people think that a divorce court judge will protect them from a vengeful spouse. Not so. The court processes dozens of divorces a week and doesn't have the time to go over every detail of your financial life to make sure that assets are divided fairly. It's up to you to protect your interests, not the divorce court judge.

If circumstances change - the custodial spouse remarries, or the spouse paying child support is laid off, you can petition the court (see a family court judge) to have child support payments lowered.

The dissolution of a marriage (a divorce) is also the dissolution of a legal entity - the legal union of two people. As such, there are legal consequences, one of which is the existing will. Once a divorce is finalized, new wills should be drawn up to reflect this change in legal status.

If your attorney has worked with your spouse's attorney, you have a much better chance of reaching a negotiated settlement than if the two legal eagles have never met. Don't cross an attorney off the list if he doesn't know the opposition, but if you can find one who knows your spouse's lawyer, the whole process will run more smoothly.